Control is a difficult thing to give up.  For those that are used to being in charge, used to knowing the outcome or wanting to know the outcome giving up control is scary and difficult.  Yet, to give our lives over to God, we have to give up control.  Lately, I've been fighting some choices I've heard at work and I've taken the wrong approach.  When I realized that maybe this is in the plan God had for me, I began looking for the good things.  I'm still not happy with the decision on the short-term, but realizing that God is in control of my life has allowed me to look at the positive side which I would have missed.

Allowing God control doesn't mean sitting around and waiting for things to happen.  It means creating a plan of action and realizing that things will happen outside of your control.  Those are the moments that God is shaping your life according to His plan.

Next time something happens, stop, think and ask - could there be something God has for me in this message?  

General website - Wired.com

Where else can you get good commentary on the web and universe around us, some of the best reviews of all kinds of stuff from tvs to vacuum cleaners and a how-to guide that rivals any on the web

Women's magazine - Bust

I call Bust Cosmo for SMART women.  This would mean all of my friends who love themselves as they are, aren't afraid of the power in their feminity and dont want to be treated like you only care about making a man orgasm 5 million ways or wearing cute shoes.  Why can't I wear cute shoes and still be smart? 

Fav gossip magazine - Sister2Sister

I hate US Weekly, People and Star (full disclosure, I actually subscribed to Star in college as a stress relief). I don't want to see <insert celebrity name here> in the morning getting their cup of coffee.  I used to want to be famous, but now even if you haven't been on TV in 5 years you are still followed around like the Savage in Brave New World.  S2S offers real interviews with real stars courtesy of Ms. Jamie!

Anything by Cook's Illustrated - Cooks Illustrated magazine, website, America's Test Kitchen TV show, Cook's Country TV Show, cookbooks, I can't get enough!  Go buy Cooks Illustrated and become an addict like me

My public library - nuff said

Yes, another collection of random thoughts that is cathartic for me.  So I love HGTV and now DIY Network.  However, these channels may be the demise of homeowners everywhere.  I know I am not the only person who thought that I could transform my house in 24 hours with only a crew of two people.  Since they don’t show the dozens of extras and all the planning, they are leading us down a garden path that we too can renovate an entire kitchen in an hour.   However, I continue to watch and attempt my home projects, crafts, etc, mostly because I’m broke and mostly because it’s cool and fun to watch.  I dream of the day I will be able to pay contractors the $25,000 it really cost for labor although they only spent $998 on materials :o) and walk into a house where I won’t have to complete anymore projects, hahahaha

So at what is becoming my favorite watering hole – Langston’s (not named for Langston Hughes) for it’s fantastic soul food, good drinks and interesting clientele, we had a discussion on pseudo-intellectuals, (which came up because we were discussing Al Charlatan, I mean Sharpton).   We all know them.  The person who most folks think is so deep because they play bad music, write corny poetry, or in Al’s case have such fantastic speaking ability that people don’t realize the words you are saying aren’t saying anything.  I think that works because people today lack basic analytical skills.  It’s like they can’t figure that X = 1 in the equation 1+X = 2. They just say did you know that 1+X = 2, yeah, you didn’t tell me anything new.    So if you are deep, you won’t need to flaunt it.  People will take your gifts, your ability to move melodies, wring written words into emotions or paint pictures that draw the public in.  Or even if you can’t do all of that, just be who you are and folks will be drawn to your genuine spirit.  You can have the ability to hold an intellectual conversation and encourage people to question and learn more about themselves.  To those that are truly self-aware, challenge their own thinking and don’t offer bull-ish excuses as to why they are so unhappy in their lives.  Keep on keeping on.

Other random things – this is the list of current songs that make me shake my head in disgust, not in any particular order

1)      Birthday Sex

2)      Wetter (Calling You Daddy)

3)      I Wish I Could “Love” Every Girl in the World

4)      Best I Ever Had

5)      Boyfriend #2

6)      Throw It In the Bag

7)      Turn My Swag On

8)      Imma Put It On Her

I’ll concede that the beats are dope, but the lyrics.  Oh man the lyrics.  No words need to be said.

Ok, I admit.  I just love that word snarky, but there is trouble with being snarky, i.e. passing judgment on people.  We all pass judgment on people, every day of our lives.  I know that I do it although I try not to and I try to catch myself when I do.  Yet, the problem with judgment is that we don’t judge ourselves fairly (or we rarely do).  In fact when I woke up this morning (actually July 1, not 6/30), this was my Biblegateway verse for the day:

“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.”- Romans 12:3

What a message.  I mean we have all heard talk about glass stones and that is so true.  None of us are perfect.  We all have something that we can do better in the eyes of the Lord.  And we will all stray.  Living a life of a Christian is hard work (but so is life in general) and being human we will fall short.  We can just try to pick it up and do better next time. 

I know I have a strong problem with judgment although I am getting better.  I am much more accepting of people’s lives and life choices although people sometimes just piss me off.  I am much better about staying out of folks business as well, although not as good as I would like to be.  Part of my nature to help people or rather try to be helpful to people lol.

Anyway, on that same token, folks are judging Michael Jackson without really knowing all of the facts.  Nobody has lived his life or been in his shoes.  Who knows what he was struggling with that would have made someone else crack and done worse.

Today I will strive to be less judgmental and will work on being a beacon of positivity (even against the BET Awards and TBS’ insistence on promoting black stereotypes).  I will turn my judgment inward to being the best me I can be.

Artomatic is a month-long art festival in DC that is free to the general public celebrating its 10th anniversary this year. Monument Realty and the Capitol Riverfront BID have provided a brand-new 275,000 square foot building to host Artomatic, right next to the Nationals Stadium. The event features nine floors of visual and installation art, theater performances, dance and comedy, three music stages, street performances such as fire dancing and drum troupes, and a film screening theater. Workshops and seminars are held all month long and special events such as the Washington Post's Peeps diorama finalists, the Zombie Prom, Box Racing, body paint shows, and a no-holds-barred Art in Fashion Show.

With four stages, four bars and a lounge on each floor, the 10th Anniversary Artomatic is bigger than ever. 52,500 people attended Artomatic last year, and 70,000 are expected this year. Over 1,000 visual artists and 600 performing artists are exhibiting this year.

Smithsonian Folklife Festival - THIS weekend and next

http://www.festival.si.edu/index.aspx

Art Unplugged: 38 Acts. 8 Weeks. 8 Locations.

http://newsroom.dc.gov/show.aspx/agency/dcarts/section/2/release/17382/year/2009

Capital Hip-Hop Soul Fest, nuff said, one day only

http://www.capitalhiphopsoulfest.com/

Capital Fringe Festival (not free, but darn close)

http://www.capfringe.org/

Hundreds of performances all over the city - to those that went to see the Stalker play last year, alas it looks like he isn't performing this year.

You have to shop anyway,why not start at this link -  http://www.upromise.com/guest/2080517432

So, I’ve had this raging headache for two days (off and on) and I thought it would be the perfect time to write a blog about the many happenings in my life.

So I went to see The Wiz with Ashanti and Orlando Jones.  It also had Dawnn Lewis and Tchina Arnold.  Everybody was AMAZING, except Ashanti.  Granted this was only her 2^nd performance, but it was very clear that she was on the stage with professionals and she didn’t “own” her performance.  However, it is worth the ticket.  Who knew Orlando Jones would be so great?  And the guy who played the Cowardly Lion – just fantastic.

Ahhh, New York City.  One of the things I love about NYC is how picturesque it is.  Yep, I said that correctly.  Especially Uptown.  It’s like every scene is a picture of just life.  The day to day things you do to get by.  New York has that raw and gritty because of just the sheer volume of people. 

Online Dating

Yes, somehow I was convinced that since I’ve been on the road more than I’ve been home as of late that I should try Match again.  What a big waste of money!  Here was my experience

1)      Women take time to build up trust.  Yes, she is going to want to exchange a few emails first and get to know you before giving you her number and meeting up.  Quit rushing the meet up the day after you wink.  So to the guy who told me I should travel up to see him tomorrow instead of meeting someplace halfway and then trying to call me out my name b/c I told him that wasn’t happening – gasface to you.

2)      Having a lot of rules for women – you should do this when we chat – is really a turn-off; so to the guy who told me to post lots of pictures of myself on yahoo when we chatted and when I said I didn’t want to and got an attitude, something’s thing wrong with you.

3)      Speaking of turn-offs, nothing will make me run to the hills faster than someone who is trying to rush things or appear too clingy.  We haven’t even spoken over the phone already you are talking about moving to be the right person in your 3^rd email? So,  I know you don’t have a job and are probably sitting around bored, but calling someone two Saturday nights in a row doesn’t make you look good.  I don’t care if I am sitting at home watching Pauly Shore movies, I am not going to answer the phone to at least appear like I have a life

I mean, I can meet regular crazy guys for free.  And maybe it is just my personality, but the guys I met on match were definitely NOT my type.  My CL experience was much more fun and much more rewarding, but I’ve turned in my online dating profile.  I’ll just have to find time to get out more when I am home .

Speaking of home, Jean-Claude and Roxie have spent almost a month at my mother’s!  While I know they miss me, I think they won’t want to come home because of how she spoils them.  She lets them out in the garden everyday and they even brought her a bird!  At my house they just get to watch through the window.

So I learn something every day and what I’ve learned is that what you think you want is not always what you want.

You have to shop anyway, so why not start through this link http://www.upromise.com/guest/2080517432

#1 You must have curly wild hair.  The longer and curlier and wilder, the more Afro cred.  However if you don't want to wear your hair out a big scarf wrap in an African print is an acceptable substitute. However at the climatic scene at the end of the video where you are singing into a mic in the middle of a smoky club, you will have your hair straightened in a 1940's wave.

#2 There is an 80% chance you will be mixed or on the lighter side.  Mixed could mean you are African & English, Cuban or something else.  The most well known exception to this rule is Erykah Badu, which leads into rule #3

#3 You must either have a name that is pronounced nothing like it is spelled (see Goapele) or rearrange your name to give you more cred - again Erykah Badu

#4 You must actually be able to sing.  All of the singers have voices ranging from decent enough to pretty good, but they all tend to have the same range.  There was no glass-shattering sopranos or CallingGodDownfromtheHeavens Altos.  Just good decent tunes

#5 Your video must have some sort of Zen-like quality either through the song name (featherlight) or video imagery (waterfalls, children laughing etc.)

#6 The only guest rappers you are allowed to have are Common and/or the Roots.  

Did I miss any others?

Anyway, this is about the return of the epic film - Star Trek.  I haven't seen a true epic since Lord of the Rings.  You know what I mean.  A big film where there are clear good guys and bad guys and with big special effects and scenes that make you just want to stand up and cheer.  Don't get me wrong, there have been some great films over the past few years - The Dark Knight, Pan's Labyrinth, Slumdog, etc, but they haven't been big large films that just took you away for awhile. 

Hollywood has gotten lazy and they get "surprised" by a films success and then every other studio rushes to copy.  A great example of this is the success of Sex and the City and then the rush to do The Women.  And how many Saw versions are we going to have to go through?  And please don't get me started on the selection of Michael Bay as the director of Transformers.  Shia LaBouef gave an interview where he talked about how much stuff they blew up during filming.  Guess what, blowing up cars isn't a directorial style.  It just makes for lots of loud noise in the theater.

I love movies.  I love where they can take you. (I love books as well, but that's another blog), but this mediocore crap really has to stop!

Here's hoping Angels & Demons is better than the DaVinci Code

Shaq vs. Kobe Still

Shaq felt the need to make a record about Kobe Bryant in which Shaq called Kobe all sorts of names and basically said Kobe can't win a championship.  Why did Shaq feel the need to call out Kobe?  Kobe hasn't said anything to you.  Why pour salt in the open wound that was game 6?  Is Shaq venting his own frustrations that he can't get to a championship without Kobe?  And Shaq got his honorary badge taken from him for his derogatory lyrics!  Go Sheriff.  Ghettoness on a scale of 1 - 10 a 7 for not letting sleeping dogs lie

50 vs. the World

50-Cent defined the term B*&cha$$ness when he posted a recording of Young Buck crying to be in G-Unit on 50's website.  That was one of the sheistiest moves I've seen in a long time.  You threw your boy under the bus.  What happened to loyalty?  and I know he owed you money, but at some point, you gotta let that go or work something out.  and taping conversation???  and so soon after all that shadiness with your house burning down by your baby's mother ?  And on top of beefs you have with The Game, Kanye (who won hands down) and everybody else.  Dude,instead of beefing with everybody.  Fi'ty, here's a dollar to go buy yourself some class.  You get a full 9.5

R. Kelly is Free

Folks rejoiced that R. Kelly was acquitted of all charges .  What the eff?  We celebrate his freedom so we can all continue to "move our bodies like snakes" while we "Step In the Name of Love?"  People, it was an open secret that Robert likes to tap them young.  Let's not celebrate, but instead pray the man gets help.  Score  - 5.5

The Soulja Boy vs. Ice-T

I don't know how this beef started, but I do know that they are both whack.  I mean Soulja Boy with his particularly bad lyrics - parents, please go find out what Superman is - and Ice-T ain't rapped in years. But somehow they are going back and forth and I must admit, the last Soulja Boy video is hilarious .  Score - 4

Remy Ma Getting Sued

For those in the know, Remy Ma, a former rapper with Fat Joe, is going to jail over some gun charges.  I don't know what all the charges are, but I do know that someone is suing her for $100million and the company and the night spot for $60million.  WTF?  Remy ain't got $10, much less a $100million.  She had no hits and rapped for a bit on a Fat Joe track.   Score 3 for greediness

Converting Democrats 

In light of the media's sexist treatment of Hillary Clinton several Democratic women's organization s have popped up in support of McCain.  If they supported McCain on the issues, I would have no problem, but these women are acting on "principle".  But we heard no peep out of them over Fox news calling Obama's wife - his baby momma . I detest hypocrites - score of 9

Ladies and gentlemen that ends this week's edition of Ghetto News.  Stay tuned for more updates.

So what's been on my mind.  Well, many people know that I work mostly in the energy space at my consulting firm, so I am constantly reading about energy policy, companies, taxes, carbon credits, etc. etc. I've written before about why I think gas should be $6 or why it should have been a lot more expensive, but I'm going to lay it out in a more simplistic fashion and this doesn't even address the consumption of electricity.

The US government has not increased the federal gas tax in over 15 years.  This tax pays for federal highway maintenance, DOT, etc.  This worked fine when the US was the major importer of gas from shady nations where 99.99% of the wealth is in the hands of a few who try to promote their world view while harboring or setting up conditions to promote terrorists.  (Read this article for an example.) Between lobbying from the oil companies, Detroit (who made gazillions off of gas guzzling SUVs), and the rest of uses of petroleum (Vaseline, hair grease, the list goes on and on) we had a vested interested in keeping gas low and it was easy, we consumed the most oil and everybody was nice to us.  But look where it has gotten us.

Gas has always been taxed extremely high in Europe.  Their cars are smaller, more efficient, their appliances run on less electricity, and they were first in line for alternative energies such as wind.  Now for a variety of reasons the full on European model would not work in the US, but inflation adjusted, gas prices have actually been falling in the US.

Imagine where we would be if the government had at least kept the price of gas adjusted for inflation using taxes.  The shock of prices which have more than doubled in the past 7 years, could have been more slowly absorbed, lifestyles could have shifted, we may have more funding for alternatives, we would have better highways, more efficient, trucks, etc.    Infrastructure that would reduce our dependence on foreign oil would already be in place.

Now there is a scramble to switch to smaller cars - biomass, ethanol (and corn is the worst ethanol out there), wind, solar are all buzz words and everybody complains at $4 gas.  All of us environmentalists were hemp-wearing, hirstute, crazies 10 years ago saying we needed to stop guzzling gas.  But now, our chickens have come home to roost.  We can't adjust in the short-term and we could drill in Alaska, the Gulf and all of our other off limit places, but those are temporary solutions.  We needed this band-aid ripped off and we are going to have to endure the pain before we can get to the healing  And the sad part is that those that can least afford it , are the ones paying the most for it.  So we can't go back and change the past, but how are we going to change the future?

Before I write my thoughts anybody else? 

Magazines:

Bust magazine is the best women's magazine out there period.  It is fun, smart, sexy and for cool chicks.  I mean where else can you read and article about feminist Mormon women, the lazy woman's guide to being "green" and how to open a beer bottle with another beer bottle in the same magazine.  It has great articles with none of that "if you don't do this at your doctor's, or if you have this 1 in a million disease or this thing will kill you".  It is sexy without the "try this thing we've recycled a million times b/c you are scared of your sexuality" of Cosmo.  I can't go on enough about this.  They sell it at Border's & Barnes and Noble.  And it's progressive without making you feel like you should be using natural sea sponges or something.  Plus they have cool music and book reviews. 

Portfolio magazine - it's like Forbes meets GQ.  It's a Conde Nast publication so it has that GQ feel, but it's geared towards a business set.  With interesting editorials that aren't partisan, articles ranging from white collar criminals to the trustee for a polygamist sect in Utah (from Warren Jeffs who is in jail now). It has those snazzy one pagers to in depth article. 

My iPod - 10,000+ songs fits in my pocket - nuff said

My cats - They are too cute and have such different personalities.  They provide me hours of entertainment.

I'm excluding things like God, friends and family on this list b/c hey, aren't those a given?

And back to my car reviews:

Chevy Impala - I love this car.  It handles great, is roomy and feels like you are in a CAR.  But I could never see myself driving one.  I mean I don't like coupes and what reason would I have to buy it.

Chevy HHR - this is a weird car.  It doesn't have the pick-up I expect (although I am driving the rental base model) and stylistically I don't like it.  It's a cross between a car, a station wagon and a small SUV. Yeah, exactly.

Toyota 4Runner - I expected to like this more than I did.  It feels like the kind of truck you need if you are always going skiing, or going into the mountains or some other adventurous place.  This is the car for people who know when they need 4 week drive and when they don't.  Plus the controls are the strangest and least intuitive I've seen. 

That's it's for cars today folks, back to the grind and earning this paper. 

But for me, the interesting factor in this is how the mother's of the kids treat their children's fathers.  I'll admit this is a pretty one-sided blog, but I've heard the conversations on the other side as well (and have my own opinions about children and women's views, particularly black women's views on children outside of marriage but that's another blog and explains why I have no kids) and I think I'm going to have to side with the fathers on this one.  It seems very hard for some women to be able to let go of a failed relationship and say "Yes, it didn't work out with us, but with our kids let's be friends."  I mean these are guys busting their butts, working 2-3 jobs, driving 40 miles or more at the drop of a dime, shuttling their kids to and from and maybe in like their spare 5 mins a day, maybe catch up with friends and breathe.  I know the moms do that too and more often than not the responsibility falls on the mothers too, but can we at least forgive our children's fathers for the failed relationship and deal with them as equals as the fathers of our children?

I am appalled and ashamed at how some of these women use and manipulate their children, the things they say to someone they once loved enough to lay down with.   It saddens me to think that the ones losing out are the children.  And I know there is a lot of hurt and anger that you have this daily reminder of a failed relationship, you have to think of that person as maybe moving on, without you.  But if you look at it this way, the mother can't move on until she forgives the father of her child.  If you are nasty towards your son's father, how will you expect to find love?  If you treat the flesh of your flesh as a bargaining chip, what type of person will you attract?  And then you would bemoan that men don't want someone with kids and they are triflin' etc.  No, what men don't want is a bitter woman.

And for my ladies that don't have children dating men that do.  Let's be a little more forgiving to those fellas that have them.  Yes, he won't be able to spend all his free time with you.  Yes, he may have to run over and pick up Jr. unexpectedly.  Drive him over, or feed him before he has to go, but let him know that you support him in his life as he is today.  I know it's hard and I know it means no spontaneous trips to Paris, but deal with it.   Be understanding.  And please don't ask him when can you meet them.  I for one don't plan on meeting anybody's kids unless we are damn near about to get married.  Not because I don't love kids, but because I don't think I should be brought into a child's life, unless I am going to become part of it.  Hell, it's easier to meet his mama then his kids for me.

And to everyone.  Remember that when you are in a relationship and you have children (be they mine, yours or ours) not to forget to be in a relationship with each other.  You have to make time for each other.  You can't just be Mommy & Daddy all the time.  Sometimes you have to be MILF and Big Daddy too ;o)

First, I saw Prince Caspian last night.  It was a GREAT movie.  One of the best I’ve seen so far this year.  I thought it was a bit violet and dark for children, and bad accent aside, I want to see it again.  Go see it.  Even if fantasy or action adventure isn’t your thing, I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

Online dating.  So I’ve said prior that I’ve been dating more and yes, your girl is busy.  But here are some tips for those who want to jump into the online pool.  Always trust your gut.  If someone seems creepy, or even if they seem perfectly normal, but you don’t think that you two will click.  Trust that feeling!  Don’t try to be nice or preserve someone’s feelings.   Always get at least two pics of the person.  People who won’t send you pics are ugly regardless of how attractive they tell you they are (although someone did remind me that people used to go on blind dates, completely blind but supposedly  we’ve progressed and I digress :o).   Sometimes, if someone doesn’t respond it’s not about you.  Send one follow up note and that’s it.  Persistence has it’s place.  So does a jail cell because you’ve been ID’ed as a crazed stalker.  Meet in person as quickly as possible.  This will let you know if you have someone and give you a lot more insight into that person, who they are, what makes them laugh

So I’ve been thinking a lot about sacrifice lately.  For example, everything that Hillary has sacrificed through her entire life to try to become President.  And what people give up when they run for office or when they become famous (at least in these paparazzi times).  Throughout my life I haven’t really had to make sacrifices.  I’ve never had to significantly delay my dreams or something I’ve wanted.  That is both a cursing and a blessing.   I know I’ve been blessed and I will continue to be thankful.

Also, I’ve realized I’ve left a couple of cars off the list – Subaru Outback and Chevy HHR.

First the Chevys (disclaimer, I drive a 2000 Chevy Cavalier) and since I want to get this posted, I am only going to do two today.

Cobalt – replaced the Cavalier.  A nice car, pretty roomy, decent handling for a compact and has some pep in the step.  The styling is a bit feminine but a good basic entry level car.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24825224/

Reading his history in Wikipedia , he has an interesting political ideology, but anything at this point is better than Hillary and if Obama doesn't get the nomination, let's go Libertarian!

And who knew that tumbleweeds really do exist? I saw them as I was driving along the 470 tollroad outside of Denver and even ran over one in my truck.  I was shocked to see them blowing across the highway.  I had always thought of them as being for Hollywood effect.

But as I've been home and watching TV (which is a HUGE time waster, so I'm realizing that I will be cutting down on my TV.  There is just no way I can accomplish everything I want to in a day and the TV distracts me.) and got the news about Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon.  At first, I was like WTF.  Then I went against my no tabloid rule and bought the People mag where they gave the interview.  And it sounds like true love for both of them.  I wish them all the luck and hope that Nick will not have to endure painful laser tattoo removal.  I noticed her tattoo can be easily changed, at least the Mrs. Cannon part.

And is anybody else offended by the CW campaign for Gossip Girl which the censored version is OMG and the uncensored is OMFG (if you don't know what the acronyms mean, try Urban Dictionary) 

The other thing that I noticed is that they have a website teaching kids how to go outside and play.  Has it really come to this?  Do we really have to teach kids how to have recess and to outside and be children?  I guess if Seseme Street is too dangerous for today's kids then anything is possible.

So what I was going to write about today is all of the various cars I've driven in my rental cars.  I've driven Chevys, Fords, Hyundai, Kias and I thought I would pass along my opinions on the cars:  Since it's LOT of cars, I've started the list here.  I'll take the Chevys first in my next post and so on.

Chevy/GM

Chevy Cobalt

Chevy Malibu

Chevy Impala

Pontiac G6

Ford

SEL

Escape

Explorer

Focus

Mustang

Kia Spectra

Hyundai

Accent

Sonata

Tuscon

Azera

Toyota 4Runner

Mitsubishi Syder Eclipse convertible

So many people are wondering why Jeremiah Wright shot his mouth off at the National Press Club .  First of all, let's review what happened.  In a fiery sermon, Pastor Wright made divisive comments about America, 9/11 and so on.  The video was replayed thousands of times across various news outlets.  Mostly, because to-date this was the most controversial thing to come out of the Obama camp.  The media needed something to run him through the wringer with.  Fair enough as today’s media doesn’t report the news, but merely spouts opposing opinions from wing-backed chairs.

Very shortly after that controversy, Pastor Wright was asked to step down from his church, canceled several speaking engagements and basically holed himself up in his house with whatever thoughts.  Barack Obama responded with diplomacy and one of the best speeches in modern history.

Fast-forward to Pastor Wright speaking to a meeting of Black pastors. Instead of being recalcitrant, he moved forward with even more rhetoric about the black church and how he was speaking for Black America and his defense of Farrakhan saying when Farrakhan speaks, Black America listens (really we do?  I must not get that radio station on my black channel).  Why did he do it everybody asked themselves, unable to understand why he could not understand how his remarks would further damage Obama’s campaign?

My response is that Wright has simply lost all touch with reality.  Pastor Wright has been Pastor of Trinity for over 35 years.  The church has thousands of members, and anybody who has ever attended a mega-church can tell you how much of a sacrifice the head pastor has to make.  It’s your life; it becomes your reason for living.  Imagine day-in and day-out for over 35 years, you are responsible for leading thousands of people in the way of God.  You have to make executive decisions.  Vacations are far and few between.  It quite literally is your life, your identity, who you are, what you do.  Then, suddenly it’s gone.  It wasn’t a planned exodus like retirement.  A retirement is a choice you control.  You know it's coming.  You can transition power, responsibilities, etc.  You can deal with it. (Wright was actually planning on retiring according to a member of his church)  Wright's exodus was a choice he had no control over.  Imagine having to leave for a choice forced upon you for speaking your mind.  You felt betrayed by the very people you were sheparding because someone leaked that tape.  If they had followed you, you could have led them straight to the kingdom of Heaven.  But they sold you out.

My grandmother thinks Wright may be in the first stages of Alzheimer's. It happened to her pastor as well. 

And now, everybody is calling you racist, unpatriotic even though you served in the military.  A betrayer of the Black race even though you were one of the first.

What happens?

Your mind snaps.  You have lost your identity and no longer know who you are.  You can’t make the connection between your rambling remarks and how you are damaging not only Barack Obama, but the hundreds of other pastors leading the Black church.

In psychology when someone undergoes an event so traumatic that the mind can’t process it, you get multiple personality disorder at worse and post-traumatic distress syndrome at best.  Either way, your reasoning capabilities are severely diminished.  The brain has a charge to protect itself.  It’s why it’s easy for us to recognize behavioral patterns in others, but not ourselves.  We are wired to protect us first.

So while I’m not excusing Pastor Wright, I’m simply saying, not only did he figuratively go crazy, but he also went figuratively crazy.  He has completely disassociated himself from his common sense and reality.  I would expect more shenanigans from him the future unless he begins to learn how to see himself as Jeremiah and not Pastor.

*while I have many more opinions about the election and Hillary and everyone, the scope of this essay to strictly Jeremiah Wright.  Please limit your comments to that scope.

**Updated thanks to feedback from my Grandmother and D. Hill 

Anyway, I've been crazy busy as of late, but as always have been having a good time!

My current case is taking me to the mile-high city of Denver.  It's a beautiful area with the Rockies right there with their snow-capped peaks. Very different than the White Mountains of NH.  Can I just say United sucks big time too.  If you are going to Denver from the DC-area then basically your only choice is United since they have the hub at Dulles and Denver is a hub.  What this means is that the plane is ALWAYS packed, it's always a 757 or some large plane and  unless you are a United member (and I'm not having all my status with US Airways, only slightly better) you have to pay for that United Plus economy. And you have to pay $5 for a snack box which actually isn't bad, but how many times can I eat tuna fish on the way to Denver??? And b/c I've been booking at the last minute that means I can't get on the planes at the "good" times for business which means I'm flying really early or really late!  Overall, United gets the thumbs down and I'm super excited they did not merge with Continental!

I've drastically cut out my TV watching in an effort to make better use of my time (mostly by reading). And you know what?  I haven't missed it.  The times I have watched it, I have found it to just be just mindless watching.  I've gotten a ton of books from the library so I'm trying to work on reading them all!

Now I've been singing that catchy Ray-J tune - Sexy Can I, but still have conflicted feelings about it.  I mean why does the girl have to be a stripper?  When she goes to work in her white t-shirt and no panties?  Isn't it far sexier to have a woman in heels, a skirt-suit and hair done up making that dough?  But then my girl reminded me that all of Ray-J's songs consists of hooks with no lyrics (I dare you to figure out the hook and lyrics for Sexy) a la Wait a Minute.

My new pet peeve is narcissistic people which  manifests itself as selfishness.  I'm also peeving against inherently lazy people.  Now I know I'm lazy, but when it's time to work, I work my butt off.  If I know I have responsibilities, I going to do anything I can to fulfill those obligations. 

And, yes, I'm back in official dating mode again.  It's been a fun ride and for reasons of privacy of the men, I won't give details, but I do have questions about the whole, I'm just not going to call you back.  I mean more often then not, I'm cool with it, but I guess it's the consultant in me that would like the feedback.  So I know how to change and adjust my behavior for next time, ya know?  Maybe I should go back and ask hahahaha. 

I got there and was able to say hello as he was drifting off to sleep.  Less than an hour later he died.

People have many reactions to death.  For those in my family who have passed, I do not experience sadness at their passing.  They have had extended illnesses and at the time of their passing were ready to move on.  I know that they are with God and in a much better place.  I'm blessed in the fact that I had them in my life as long as I did.  I was able to love them, be with them.  Laugh with them.  Cry with them.

It's only months or years later when something that we could have talked about that I realize they are gone.  That's when it hits me.

Make sure you value each and every minute of your life.  It's short and time flies.  When you wake up each morning thank God for giving you another day to change the world and leave it better than you found it.  Tell someone you love them.  Smile at a stranger.  Take a minute for yourself and do something that makes you and only you happy. 

So first, yes, I am still on the beach and so I decided to go to Amsterdam and Paris .   I mean really when would I have had time and I had such a good time in NYC going to see the Uffizi exhibit and Cat on a Hot Tin Roof that I said why not.

So in Amsterdam and NO, I did not go to any "coffeehouses" I went to the Van Gogh Museum , the Anne Frank house , the national museum , (Rijksmuseum)  and some other places and walked around the city.  The city is beautiful and full of canals and old townhouses and house boats. Everybody speaks English and very well.  I heard the John Legend cd being played while I was in a restaurant having dinner (mixed in with John Mayer and some other folks) and I saw and old school Lakers jacket.  I mean old school like too-tight shorts from the 80's.  Solid man!

In Paris I hooked with my girl and went to Bretagne where I saw Mont St. Michel .  I also went to a "country" birthday party.  Let me tell you those people know how to party!  The 84 year old grandma left the party at 3:30 am and at 6:30 they were still poppin champagne.  Diddy ain't got nothing on these folks. 

What I found most interesting was watching Undercover Brother with Dutch subtitles and watching the videos.  So yes, this will be the full on video edition of the blog.  Let's start with the Mark Ronson/Amy Winehouse collab.  Now I've been trying to figure out why everybody is trying to drink Amy's bathwater, but I do admit, her first album is pretty good.  She has that Billie Holiday quality

Now for some reason the Brits seem to be producing better R&B than it's birth place (the US so see Elton John - Aida, Joss Stone, etc.) b/c check about Adele

I'm having trouble trying to embed all the videos I want so I'll include the links here

Martin Solveig - C'est la vie (the video) - great dancing

SCHNUFFEL-"Kuschel Song" / Full Song! [OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO] - weird, yet strangely addictive

Alain Clark - This Ain't Gonna Work - Sings in Dutch and English but I actually like his Dutch stuff better although I have no idea what he is saying

I would also like to thank MS & ZS for the wonderful house gift!  I would also like to thank DPA for lunch!  And I would like to thank AR for getting me into the spot for free last weekend!

That being said we'll divide this blog into Rants and Raves.  Let's start with the Raves first

Clarke Peters - disclaimer, he's my cousin.  He is a fantastic actor from the The Wire which just ended it's five years last Sunday.

Eyrkah Badu's new album - New Amerykah.  It's pretty typical Erykah with a mix of styles and genres

Being on the beach - it's like a mini-vacation

Jean-Claude & Roxie - so cute.  I got to take them to the vet, sleep with them and just enjoy them in the house

Beyonce's new womanhood.  As she's gotten older, I realize that her lyrics really reflect what is going on in my life - the lyrics to Flaws & All and the lyric in Upgrade U which goes - still play my part and let you take the lead role.  I've been asked several times of of late why I think there are so many single black women.  A complex question, but my answer in simplistic terms is 1) women not owning their own womanhood and realizing they are worthy of being pursued and 2) women overdoing the independent thing and not making their men feel like men.

Rants

Flavor of Love 3 - these women are really scraping the bottom of the barrel.  None are attractive and they take chickenhead to a whole new level

Vista - it's slow and while visually appealing takes forever to do anything

Verizon - the most complicated, unreliable service.  Their website was down for 3 weeks so i couldn't pay my bill and forget trying to call someone

Hillary Clinton - the Clinton machine at it's best also shows them at their worst.